July 19, 2004: What I want…
My birthday is coming up and people have inquired so I figured I might as well let everyone know what I want:
I want to be a DJ.. just one night
Ok, so maybe not a full-on DJ. I’ve tinkered with tables but I’d have to spend a lot of time either buying music or listening to some kind person’s collection to figure out what songs I’d like to use and then practice a few mixes.
However, I’d be perfectly happy just playing a nice set of either brit-pop or good 90’s. And CD’s would be just fine. You hardly have to beat-match the stuff so two players would be good enough. I want to do a night playing stuff that will take the crowd down memory lane - playing songs that you never hear at clubs but that are great danceable tunes.
I’ve always wanted to do that but never pursued it cause I don’t really have an ‘in’. So there you have it: I’ve come out.
I want to learn to surf
But I need a teacher. Someone with a little patience cause I tried once and I sucked. I kept biting it every time and we’re talking dinky Florida waves. I know, it’s embarrassing. Hence, why I want to learn.
I want some normalcy
Having been titled many nicknames (The pulse, International Man of Mystery, Mr. Jet-Setter) by all my friends because of my work, at some point it’s going to have to stop. Everyone keeps saying they’re living vicariously through me but, man, it’s exhausting. I know everyone’s intentions are innocent but it makes me feel guilty at times. And, besides, I’m really hoping you’re not envying the times I’m stuck working 14-hour days in some beach town in North Carolina where I didn’t even get to see the beach.
I’m tired. I miss doing the basics like grocery shopping, doing stadiums in The Swamp, sitting down and reading a book at Java Lounge or Maude’s. It’s a blast when I come into town and I feel very special (I’ve really meant to thank all of you for it) but it’s stressful. I also miss building friendships with people I’ve met. You meet a lot of people when you travel but you have to spend time to get to know them well so it’s hard to keep in contact.
Not to say I don’t want to travel any longer. I absolutely do. But work has been consuming my life to an extreme and I’m starting to wonder how much longer I can keep it up.
I just want everyone to think of me as Ed. Or Eduardo. Whichever one you can pronounce (correctly… roll the ‘R’, baby).